Interview
For Franco American Women’s Experience
Paulette
Ferland
WST 235.990 FALL 2007
October 29-2007
I chose my subject to interview for this French class
because I have always admired Bonita P. Grindle and the
woman she has become. She is a Franco American woman who
had no special opportunities growing up but, through her
life and its experiences, she has become an unsung hero in
my eyes and all those around her. And…..this is her story.
“J'ai été censé naître un garcon”
{I
was supposed to be born a boy}
A little girl was
born in Old Town, Maine, at a hospital that looked like a
home. It was called "The Home Private" and eight years
later, by coincidence, I was also born in the same place,
probably in the next room if the truth be known. Years
later, "The Home Private" was torn down to make room for
new endeavors. This little girl was supposed to be born a
boy according to her three older sisters. Five years
between each sister, as if by plan of her parents, but by
happenstance, she was born and her Mother and Father named
her Bonita Anne Parent. Her older sister was named
Jacqueline Therese, and the second sister was named another
French name, Germaine Marie. The third daughter was Linda
Jean, and finally came Bonita Anne. Bonita’s Mother tried
to assimilate and go away from the French ways and this is
demonstrated when you listen to the daughters’ names. The
first two names being French and the next
English and then
Spanish for Bonita. Bonita wanted her name to be Angelique
but it was never to be.
She was born to a Father that originally came from
Drummond, Canada, and a mother that was born here in the
States. Bonita’s father went by the name of Lawrence his
entire life.
After he passed away, Bonita got his birth certificate and
his real name was Lion (pronounced Leon) Laurent Parent.
Since he was a non-reader, he only knew what others told
him.
Her Mother’s name is Anita
Germaine Durette Parent and is still alive today. She is 90
years young. After Bonita’s father passed away, Anita
remarried and her new name became Arsenault. Bonita’s
Mother, Anita, was the first in the family to be born in
the United States. Anita was born in Old Town and the older
children were born in Canada.
“L'Exode”
{The
Exodus}
Sharing a little
about her family’s exodus to the States, Bonita told this
story. Her Grandfather was French and Native American and
left Canada to make a new life here in the United States.
He was a non-reader and got a job working at a hotel
starting the fires, keeping the fireplaces cleaned out, and
taking care of chamber pots. After he had worked for a
while, he sent for his wife, Bonita’s Grandmother, Emelia
Gagnon, to join him. She came on the train with her four
children in tow. On the train, one of her children passed
away in her arms. When she arrived in the States,
authorities did not allow her to disembark because she had
a dead child and no one knew the cause of death.
Authorities insisted she board a different train back to
her homeland and bury her child there. The family never
knew the cause of death nor what the length of time was
before she and her beloved husband were reunited. Bonita’s
father was the youngest of seventeen children.
Bonita was born in Old Town and spent her childhood growing
up there. I was surprised to find out she did not reside on
French Island, where most of the Franco’s ended up. She
grew up on Academy Hill in Old Town. She loved living in
that area.
Growing up she was called “The Brown Bomber,” and the
reason her friends and family called her that was because
she was always on the go, never stopping. Instead of going
around things, she would go through things.
Back then, her hair was a beautiful brown color, her eyes
were a twinkling brown shade and her skin, especially in
the summer, had a beautiful brownish tint, and probably
passed down from her French genes.
Beginning with Kindergarten, Bonita attended St. Joseph
Catholic School and was there for the nine full years. She
never regretted a day spent there. It was basically a great
experience for her. Bonita shared that many of the nuns
that taught there were her biological cousins. She stayed
at the Sisters of Mercy convent when her Mother required a
babysitter. At the time, I remember that people had
impressions that nuns were these beings who wore long black
gowns and floated two to three inches off the ground.
Because many of the sisters stayed in her home, she
realized that they were just normal human beings.
Bonita was rare with her feelings towards the sisters, as
she experienced no fear of them as others did because she
had seen them at their worse, swearing, pulling hair, and
acting out like normal folks in her home. I realized that
these nuns were only regular people so that is why I acted
out in school and got into trouble. I had no fear of them!
“Étaient
les vraies personnes de nonnes?”
{Were
nuns’ real people?}
Bonita even remembered some of the nun’s names. She told me
her favorite sister was Sister Cabrinie.
She seemed very
young to Bonita. Mother Veronica was remembered as being
the most physically beautiful woman Bonita had ever seen.
Back than the nuns were called, “Mother.” In later years,
when I would take my adventure through Parochial School,
nuns were called, “Sisters.”
Bonita recalled when the time came to pass out report
cards; children were called up front, one by one, in order
of rank by the nuns, highest ranking coming up first. There
would be a star posted in the front of the room and on each
point of the star (5 points), each high-ranking photo would
be placed for recognition. This would stay at the front of
the room until the next report card was given out. This was
embarrassing to the children who did not perform so well.
The nuns did this thinking this course of action would show
the other children to try harder during the next period.
“Vous
avez fait votre acte de la Pénitence”
{Did
you make your Act of Contrition?}
This story
is being told so that the reader can hear some of the
punishments Bonita endured so that you can understand how
important it was for her to make something of herself later
in life. Bonita shared one punishment for herself
personally. When it was time to make your “Your Act of
Contrition,” which says, “Bless me Father, for I have
sinned, it has been three months since my last confession.”
Instead of stating the standard Contrition, Bonita adlibbed
and said, “Hey-dig me Daddio for I have goofed!”
The nuns did not take a liking to her version and locked
her in the storage room, on numerous occasions for hours at
a time. When you think of that practice today, if there had
ever been a fire and the building cleared, no one would
have ever realized there was a little child locked in that
closet.
Bonita vividly shared with me a few other punishments as
well that happened to some of her classmates there. One boy
had acted out so the nuns brought in a playpen, placed him
in there, and taped his mouth shut with masking tape and
left him in there for the entire day.
“Voyez
le petit singe que nous avons attrapé”
{See
the little monkey we caught}
Another story, another boy was
being punished. Bonita shared that she was raised in an
all-girl family and was quite sheltered by her Mother. This
nun pulled down the boy’s pants and spanked him in full
view of the entire class. Bonita had never seen a boy’s
anatomy, and she was petrified that there was something
wrong with this young man and ran home to tell her Mother.
She was shocked! She found out that day that boys were
certainly different than girls!
Bonita’s girlfriend had brought a jump rope to school and
was playing with it in the classroom. The nun’s took it
away from her, tied her securely with it, and placed her on
the very highest point of that piano. Then they invited the
upper grades to file in and the nuns would say, “See the
little monkey we caught.”
One last story Bonita shared with me was that she had gone
to a dance in the seventh grade. One of the nuns came up to
her the next day and said, “We heard you were at a dance
last night and you were wearing a sleeveless dress. Now,
when your babies are born without arms, we will know the
reason.”
“Donnez-moi
une des pièces de monnaie de recompense”
{Give me one of
the jètons (pronounced jè-tons)}
The nuns had a
strange reward system. At the beginning of the year, each
child who attended school would be given a number of
jètons. This seemed to be made of a sturdy square pressed
cardboard with a red star stamped on it. During school, if
you misbehaved, talked in class, or talked back to the
nuns, the Sister would say, “Donnez-moi une jèton.” You had
to stop what you were doing at the time and give the nun a
reward that you had earned earlier.
“Ce
qui est dans la salle d'entreposage”
{What
is in the storage room?}
The funny thing was the storage room was where they kept
the jètons and while in there, Bonita would load up her
pockets with scores of those jètons. Having complete secret
access to these rewards, Bonita was blessed with an
abundance of rewards. When you had collected enough of
these, you could purchase items with the jètons, and Bonita
had more than anyone else in her class. The nuns never
caught on to why she had so many.
She shared with me that with the jètons she had “acquired”
out of the storage room, she purchased a beautiful gold
chain and cross for her sister’s wedding, and her Mother
was the lucky recipient of a plastic crucifix with Christ
painted in gold on the crucifix.
As far as language was concerned certain subjects were
taught in French and some in English. Religious education
and language were taught in French where science and
history were taught in English.
“Fin
de la semaine”
{The
end of the week}
Growing up, my parents did not wish for me to speak the
French I was learning in school in our home because they
felt that was a different French then what they were used
to. The Parisian French we were learning in school would
say “Le Weekend.” But in the French my parents were used to
would say, “Fin de la semaine.” My parents were fluent in
French but my Father would stick “H’s” in where they didn’t
go such as Heggs for breakfast and where is the Holeo
(margarine).
“Notre
foi était importante”
{Our
faith was important}
Growing up, Bonita
felt she lived a traditional lifestyle. She enjoyed eating
some of the French foods such as green beans and salt pork,
and creton. She reported that her family loved attending
Catholic Mass bright and early. The family was seated by 6
AM to get the French version. After school, Bonita and the
children she hung around with would hide in the bushes in
front of their family home and make shrines. "We knew the
Virgin Mary would show herself to us one day." We truly
believed our faith and enjoyed every minute of it. It was
important to all of us as a family. If you went to mass and
wanted to receive communion, you could not have eaten for
twelve hours prior to mass so we went to church starved and
following mass, we could eat our breakfast. Our family all
knelt in prayer nightly in the home for about half an hour.
One thing she loved was, because many of the nuns were her
relatives, she would be able to help decorate for
Christmas, the altar and such. She remembers looking in the
“Tabernacle” to see if that was where God lived. She peeked
in and nothing….but then again, on Sunday, it was there!
What a miracle! She always loved the Pomp and Circumstance
of the Catholic faith. "I was blessed that I was born
French and Catholic. I feel privileged."
Today, Bonita does not practice any faith regularly. Bonita
told me that when she was a young married woman with two
small children, her Father came down with a terrible case
of Parkinson’s disease. At the time, she had not been going
regularly to their church. He was sure that if she would
return to church, God would grant him a healing. She once
attended a Baptist church for a season and she really
enjoyed that. Presently, Bonita doesn’t attend church but
daily reads her Bible, enjoy her devotions, and prays
regularly.
“Quel genre de catholique sont
vous”
{What
kind of Catholic are you?}
I was never
comfortable growing up as a daughter of a Canadian Father.
My Father owned his own business in the woods and he had to
file all of these immigration documents. We would be
watching the television and an announcer would say, “If you
are an alien, you are required to file this form by law." I
would check to see if there were any growths protruding
from my Father’s head. I didn’t understand why they were
referring to my Dad as an alien. Later in life, I found out
that my Father was from Canada. When we made journeys back
to Canada, my Father would become nervous as we got closer
to the border. There was terrible apprehension because he
was a non-reader and he thought they would always give him
a difficult time trying to cross. I adopted that feeling
and still, to this day, become nervous, when I get close to
the border.
Things were so divided back then. Just in Old Town, there
was a French Catholic Church, an Irish English Catholic
Church, a Native American Catholic Church, and The Jewish
Synagogue. After church, we were just plain kids! Later in
life, when I went to class reunions, other children would
say, “Oh~you were one of those lucky people that went to
St. Joseph’s School. We ALWAYS envied you. You all came as
a group and stayed together. You had something the rest of
us never did.”
“J'ai voulu travailler dur”
{I
wanted to work hard}
Growing up, Bonita
was never encouraged to work toward a higher education but
she ALWAYS had a desire to. She had a great interest to
become a veterinarian. Back then, women were encouraged to
get married and have children, or work as a Secretary in an
office but that was it. Even with the guidance counselors,
no encouragement was given to a student.
Yes, Bonita did get married, did have babies, did became a
Secretary, but still had that deep down desire to attend
college and further her education.
She started off at Husson College in Bangor in the medical
field. She then transferred to the University of Maine and
worked toward a BS in Micro Biology and received her degree
in 1990. For that recognition of being outstanding student
in the field at the time, University officials placed a
plaque in Hitchner Hall at the Orono campus. One day she
went to look at it, and noticed her name was spelled
incorrectly. The plaque read “Bonnie Grindle.” She said to
herself, “Who is that?” She told me that she had actually
taught for a few years here on this campus in Microbiology.
At the same time, she was going to school for her Masters
in Adult Education and in particular, “How do adults
learn?” She received her Master’s Degree also from this
same college. How remarkable!
“Mon
Héros Méconnu”
{My
Unsung Hero}
Bonita Grindle is
my “Unsung Hero.” She has served as Interim Director for
Equal Opportunity for the University of Maine and is
presently serving as Associate Director. She shared with me
that her greatest hero was Martin Luther King because he
believed in the same rights for all people, no matter the
color of their skin. After conducting my interview, I can
tell Bonita has that same heart.
I asked Bonita what her stations in life have been. She had
many. Bonita shared with me being a Mother was the most
noble thing she has ever experienced in her life thus far.
Being a wife has also been incredible. Education was
another important chapter.
After enjoying this interview with Bonita, I found out the
following:
Bonita is from the same culture I am, French. That is
something we are both tremendously proud of.
Bonita is one of those strong, well-educated, dependable,
tuff French women we have been learning about in class.
Bonita is proud of her heritage today.
Bonita, through endurance and difficult times, has
surmounted all those obstacles in life, to become an
inspiration to all of us women out there who are still
climbing that ladder to success. She is at the top, holding
that same ladder, to make our journeys a little easier. She
has seen, good, bad, and injustice, but she shared with me
that together, those obstacles are part of who she is
today.
Bonita shared with me that “Family” has inspired her
throughout her life and that is the one thing that she
feels we carried forward from being a Franco. The Family
Unit that was always important in her younger day has been
of recent, falling apart. Bonita feels that family has made
our country strong and stable. She stated that we need to
work harder at getting that tradition back. I am truly
inspired with the woman Bonita has become.
So, as you can see, Bonita didn’t turn out too bad for a
young lady that spent most of her nine years locked in a
closet stealing jètons in that Parochial School years
earlier. Yes, Bonita Grindle, Associate Director for Equal
Opportunity here at the University of Maine is my “Unsung
Hero!”